Being Mum, Running a Business
“Emilio needed me today but I was fully booked in the salon. Feeling like the worst mum in the world right now.”
Being a Mum and running a business is, perhaps, the ultimate juggle. Being a Mum and having a job is tough; but when it’s your own business, there’s a whole other level of involvement, care, and love that goes into your work — fitting that in around your family can be incredibly difficult. And then there’s the inevitable mum-guilt - because there is always something to feel guilty about.
So, how do you cope? My advice is this:
Redefine your ideas about what being a great mum means to you. And redefine success in your business, too.
For example, lots of us have a deeply ingrained idea that being a good mum means being with your kids all the time, especially when they’re very young. When they’re a little older, we think that being a good mum means being there at the school gates to pick them up every day; being there to help with their homework and make their dinner in the evenings, and being with them all weekend.
But how many mums who can do all those things are present with their kids all the time? Listening? Learning together? Enjoying one another?
Redefine it.
Instead of being physically present with your children all the time - which makes you feel guilty when your work means you can’t be there - allow yourself to accept that being a good mum means being present and aware when you are with them. Or trusting them to learn and grow even in the moments when you’re busy doing something else. Or trusting your partner or relatives or other caregivers to fulfill your kids’ needs when you’re in the other room. Providing for them. And crucially, being a good mom can mean leading by example; showing them that they can follow their dreams, just like you are.
Equally, redefine what success in your business means to you.
Not everyone, or every business, has the same goals. And that’s OK. You might be aiming to earn a certain figure or get a feature in a certain magazine - and if so, great! But equally, your goals might be more focused on the lifestyle that works for you and your family.
Take the time to understand what would feel like success to you. It could be that success is when you’re pricing your work in a certain way, or when you have enough passive income, to be able to carve out more time to be with your children. You might be aiming for a point in your business when you can let go of the reigns a little, and begin to delegate responsibility.
No one can define success for you. Even less so when your love and passion is divided between business and children. There is no shame in striving for an ambitious business success when you have kids; it doesn’t make you any less of a good mum. And in the same way, there is no shame in not wanting the kind of success that takes you away from your family for days or weeks at a time.
The juggle is real. No matter consciously you define and redefine your expectations, there will be really had days. But you’ve got this. And whether you’re flying high in a fabulous moment, or crawling through the depths of a tough time; you are enough.
Check out the latest episodes of The Confessions of a #BeautyBoss Podcast here.